Take the Pressure off so-called “Milestones”

overcoming pregnancy expectations, expectations vs. reality, taking the pressure off "milestones"

Our first pregnancy story isn’t what I expected it to be. 

Only 8 weeks into our bliss, we got some very difficult news at our first ultrasound. Our baby was showing signs of chromosomal issues that we were told could end in miscarriage. We had to wait 3 excruciating weeks to hear that she’s probably fine but there’s still a chance she’s not. Then a bright spot on her heart was found. Last Friday was our first ultrasound that we finally got the all clear. 

At our 20 week ultrasound they found a bright spot on her heart that could still indicate an issue. I had to go to this one by myself because of Covid, and I was pretty anxious. Last Friday was our first ultrasound that we finally got the all clear (PRAISE God!). It was the only ultrasound that hasn’t ended in tears – well, there were tears but this time ones of joy!

So basically our whole pregnancy has had a heaviness hanging over the entire experience. 

Our trials grow us into deeper, truer people which is so much more beautiful than a fairy tale story ever will be. 

Throw in the stress of Covid and all the tension going on in our country, a cousin and then a dear friend passing away suddenly, and yeah – I’d say 2020 has made it a struggle to be joyfully pregnant. 

And I’m just here to say, it’s okay when the thing that’s supposed to be perfect and insta worthy turns out to be pretty dang difficult instead. Whether that’s your wedding, new job, travel, or just life in general.

We put so much pressure on certain “milestones” in our lives that when they don’t live up to the hype, we’re sorely disappointed. And “crazy 2020” aside, our expectations are hardly ever truly met if we’re being honest. But – we post the picture anyway and pretend that they were. Which just leads the next person to believe their engagement, career, pregnancy will be (and should be) just as magical. 

When it’s just not true. It’s okay if our lives don’t look like the movies or even our own Instagram page. It doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful. 

Although I would’ve much rather had an easy happy first pregnancy, God has used this season to refine us into who He wants us to be even more. He showed us right away the ache and deep love that comes with being parents. We’ve already cried wrenching tears for our child and she hasn’t even had to face this harsh world yet.

Our trials grow us into deeper, truer people which is so much more beautiful than a fairy tale story ever will be. 

So this is your permission to rip the pressure off so called “milestones” and just take them as they are – whether they’re a learning experience, truly enjoyable, or a trial that’s going to grow you into a greater person.

I pray this is encouraging, and reminds you to continually work on never comparing your story with the next.

Until next time, sweet friends!

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