Every new year, I’m reminded of the new life I was given in Christ – now five years ago.
I grew up in church in the Bible Belt. Like many that grow up in Christian areas where “everyone is a Christian” whether they act like it or not, I knew a lot about God but never actually personally knew Him through a relationship with Jesus.
I claimed one thing and lived another life completely. Those who I partied with saw a side of me that I hid from those I cherished most. I’d party in skimpy clothes on Saturday night and go to church the next morning in my Sunday best like nothing had happened.
I’d feel guilty about the things I did but not enough to let them go. Until New Year’s Conference 2015.
I heard a talk that jarred me awake from the lie I’d been living. Up until that point I thought I was a “good enough” Christian that yeah, did some things that probably weren’t completely pleasing to God. But I had the rest of my life to be good and godly. I’m in college, I’m supposed to be having fun and living it up, right? These are lies I told myself.
The talk I heard on that day made me realize I was holding onto the things in this life (that are so incredibly temporary it’s mind boggling) in place of holding onto Christ. And I couldn’t do it any more. My stomach dropped as I realized for the first time in my life that I was actually not a Christian. The previous 22 years I’d been deceiving myself saying I loved God when my actions told the world I indeed did not.
Over the last 5 years, God has taught and refined me so much. I know He’s not done (thankfully) but I’ve come a long way from the excited somewhat prideful new baby Christian to a more humble child of God knowing deeper and deeper how great God’s love is for me and how immensely sinful I am. And how I desperately need Him every. single. day.
Thank you Lord, for another year to learn from and about You.
If you feel like you’re in the place right now that I was 5 years ago, claiming one thing but living a totally different life, call out to God. He is always right. there. ready to answer if you cry out to Him with a repentant, yearning heart. It would absolutely thrill me if you’d reach out through email or any way you want to talk about this further (my Instagram handle is @audkemp if you’d like to dm me there). I would love to walk you through next steps or tell you more about my marvelous Savior. There will be zero judgement from me since I’ve done a lot of stuff I’m not proud of. I know how it is to feel lost and purposeless. There will only be open arms awaiting you if you choose to reach out, I promise 🧡.
I’ll leave you with these verses from an alternative version of “Auld Lang Syne”:
To you who boast tomorrow’s gain
Tell me, what is your life?
A mist than vanishes at dawn
All glory be to Christ.
Here’s to a New Year and new life!
Hello 2021 👋
the abiding tourist 